Buston Chronicles

Part 1  Don't know how to ease into this so, let's get into it. Now from 0AD to around 622AD , Christianity is spreading all the way through the Middle East over to Northern India and Persia and even to China with the Tang Dynasty. Up into Europe, Britain. Then it jumps over to Ireland [ some reasearchers claim that at one point the Ark Of The Covenant was actually in Ireland ] this was around the 400's and all of North Africa were Christians. Then in 622AD something happens , ISLAM happens. I know I'm not the only one who has seen headlines of christians being killed in Nigeria, churches being burned in Europe. The people who do this claim they are doing it in the name of Islam.  Now apologists say that if you're concerned about this, you're guilty of bigotry , spreading a Sharia hoax or conspiracy . They assure us that terrorism does not represent " True Islam ", but  the terrorists are often yelling ,  " Allahu Akbar " Well, who can...

I'm feeling broken, like no one hears a single word I've ever spoken. And all these voices in my head are now awoken. Why is it that everything I touch just starts eroding? No, that ain’t true. Tell me it’s all a lie. Tell me I’m giving purpose to someone before I die. Tell me whatever happened to “it doesn’t hurt to try.” Why do I feel pain for simply being alive? Every day I’m confused. Every day is a fight. Falling deeper with time, slowly losing the light. I really wish I was normal, not faking I’m alright. Sometimes I sit alone in my room just barely getting along, questioning who would care if I was gone. Maybe only my family — cat, brother, and mom. While I’m still alive and breathing, someone prove to me I’m wrong. Why does this feel like a confession? Like I’ve let somebody down for struggling with depression. How do I save myself from my own mind when my old man feels like a weapon I battle every single day while staring at my reflection? I keep all of this hidden. Ma...

 Part 1 -  The Dark Knight Before The Cross Behold, the son of God in the sacred, scandalous garden of Gethsemane.The high king laid low the fountain of all joy saying, my soul is so deeply grieved I could die right now.The air thick with anguish, torment, heartbreak.The kiss of the disciple of betrayal soon to reverberate through the branches of the olive trees that engulfed the garden.  God had come to man to bring man to God, and man responded with crucifixion.Feel the weight of the sinfulness of sin, that given the chance, sin would try to kill God himself. Behold the son of God, perfectly good, perfectly righteous, but now perfectly sorrowful. Alone, desperate for the prayers of his friends, but none will be found. Oh, lord and savior, how heavy was that night before you would die? What could bring the Lord of glory to thrice ask for deliverance from what he was about to endure? Was it the failure and fickleness of those who followed you? Was it the pending tor...

 Have A Very May-be Christmas  by Buston I don't know how to begin this. This is a deep one because my relationship with Christmas is......complicated. We’re currently taking a silent night . 😁😁 See what I did there, because the silent and like the night, like it's a relationship...okay, let's move on. Tough crowd. It's not only Christmas that I struggle with, as long as it's a holiday like Get-Together, is that still a thing? I barely celebrate them, including my own birthday . Is that a strange thing to say out loud? especially in a season filled with lights, laughter, and the pressure to be joyful. But in these seasons that apprently I should be enjoying, laughing, living like nobody's looking, that's the most depressed I become or be. Because how can I be happy when I'm so broken? I think just like the mother of most of our problem, mine also began in the intimate sector that is a family. Just like any other African boy, my dad decided to go...

Can Obedience Feel Like Failure? by Buston I don’t know if anyone really prepares you for this part of the journey, the part where following God doesn’t feel like soaring on wings like eagles… it feels more like watching everyone else take off while you’re still stuck on the ground. Most people hear “missionary pilot” and imagine adventure, impact, purpose. And honestly, that’s what I imagined too. I had this picture in my mind of flying into remote places, helping people, serving God with everything in me. It was simple back then, hear God, obey, and the path unfolds. But nobody talks about the chapters where obedience feels like you made a mistake. I’ve put so much into this calling. The late nights studying. The long days training. The sacrifices. The waiting. The hoping. The praying. Coming from where I started — from the slums — chasing this dream has already felt like a miracle. But dreams are expensive . Purpose is heavy . And obedience… obedience costs more than I expected. Wh...